The sun is rising into a clear blue sky. Across the fence my neighbor's sprinklers are spitting, and I can hear a multitude of birds singing their morning songs. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my green beans and tomatoes growing, getting tall in the summer sun.
It's a new day, and today Dad is going home from the hospital, but not to good news. 2-4 weeks the doctors said. We've all heard stories of people far outliving the estimates of their doctors, but still it is a shock to say out loud.
I'm not ready. My heart is almost overwhelmed with sadness. I don't have adequate words. But this go-round will at least be a tiny bit easier. Why? Because I know from experiencing the death of my mother that this deep lacerating pain, these sore eyes from crying will not last forever. My heart will heal and eventually I will be able to think about him without crying.
Even as I write that I doubt its truth. But somewhere deep inside I know that's true. It was true with Mom, and she was my very best friend, my anchor, my go-to person for...everything. And eventually, I stopped crying. Eventually, I could tell stories about her without tears. Eventually, my heart did start to heal.
Hard days ahead. Grace must be looked for and enjoyed wherever we find it. The grace is there. Of that I have no doubt.
1 comment:
We weep with you, and walk with you as you settle your dear, dear Dad into his own home. Oh, yes, the tears will flow but so will the grace of our Father who carries you close to His heart. And HE weeps with you. Love, love, love, Carol
Post a Comment