Bittersweet

There's finally a bird in my bird bath! I've had this beautiful piece of pottery in my front yard for at least 2 years, and today is the first time I've seen a bird in it. Wonderful! He was squirming and puttering around getting himself good and wet. Small joys. :)

Today is Tim and my 21st anniversary. We've been quite lackadaisical about celebrating our anniversaries, but something has changed inside me. I don't want to be that casual anymore. I don't want to put it off. I want to make an occasion out of it.

This morning I remembered why.

Today is the day (in 2010) that Dad was diagnosed.

Since that event, my brain has wanted Tim and I to make a bigger deal out of our anniversary. It's as if there's scale inside my heart, and if we celebrate in a special way, the anniversary side of the scale will outweigh the sadness side of the scale, remembering what today was like 2 years ago.

I'm not sure that's quite fair to Tim - to expect him to be able to tip the balance of the scale, but I'm sure each year will feel a little easier, and then someday, today will once again just be our anniversary.

There are other lovely things in the "good" column, too.

I have a new niece - Aubrey Hope. Can't wait to see her! Sadly, I'm not sure when that will be, but until that time we have Facebook. ;-D

My garden is growing nicely - pumpkins, cucumbers, green beans, yellow beans, tomatoes, carrots, the last of the spring radishes (2 of which I'm letting go to seed and, to my delight, they have beautiful purple flowers!), snap peas, yellow summer squash, and all kinds of herbs. Come July I expect a bounty of vegetables! :-)

My wildflower garden was a tremendous success. Minimum effort; maximum result. Amazing! Pictures will be posted soon - I promise.

Despite the sad memories now associated with June 15, I am proud and pleased as punch to celebrate Tim and my anniversary. We remain best friends, we actually still like each other, we rejoice in our love, we laugh a lot together. Our marriage has been a blessed one, and we've faced our challenges head-on - struggles with family issues, childlessness, illness, job troubles, money troubles, relationships exploding around us. I'm so thankful for Tim, for the thing that is "Tim and me", and for the life we share.

So today is bittersweet, but I sit on my porch watching that robin splash and cool himself in the little sanctuary that is my front yard, and it is a delight to my heart.