Approaching 40

I'm feeling a little blue this morning. I'm feeling a little old, too, and slightly disappointed in my body. 

First of all, I was supposed to go on a lovely, long wildflower hike this morning, and I just don't know if I can do it. My bad knee (actually, the worse of two bad ones!) is hurting rather badly, partly from working 5 hours in my yard yesterday (pictures to come - of the yard, not my knee!), and partly from the barometer changing and bringing in a storm. 

I believe the same barometer shift (and the time in my monthly cycle) brought on a migraine, awakening me around 5:30. Yes, the sun was just beginning to lighten the sky. My meds are working (very thankful), but I'm not sure if a hike is a good idea. 

Third, the 5 hours of work wore me out more than I would like. It seems as if I just can't do 5 hours of manual labor without paying a pretty high price of energy loss and muscle exhaustion. Ok, so I'm not quite the fittest lady on the planet, but I like to think of myself as fairly strong anyway. Am I fooling myself, or is this the onset of 40 (which I will be in September)? 

All this brings me to the ultimate question: What will the continued process of aging look like? Let me say this - I am not particularly stressed or fearful about aging. My hair has been graying for a while, and I've had various aches and pains for a long time. It has begun to dawn on me, though, that those aches and pains are most likely only going to get worse, and probably even multiply. Does that mean I'll lose a lot of my fun-ability? To hike, ride my bike, garden, etc.? 

I'm not panicking here, or obsessing about "getting old" per say, just ruminating on what this process means. I might eventually need to live in a ranch-style house so I don't have to carry laundry up and down the stairs. Yuck! At least I'm not worried about the cosmetics of aging. 

All right, I am a little worried about one thing. I have been blessed by genes with pretty good skin - no wrinkles, good complexion, etc. As I begin to develop that tissuey skin my mom had under her eyes, it's dawned on me that I will eventually get wrinkles, and that freaks me out a little. I think that will make me feel old faster than the other things because its been delayed. I guess thinking about it like this will, at least, prevent me from being taken by surprise!

So I'll try and just go with the flow, like everyone else; try to not fight against my body but work with it; and try to age gracefully with less complaining than I've done in the past few years. No point in belaboring an obvious and boring point. So I'm approaching 40? So what? I'll get on with it and just make the most out of every day - even if the physical "most" gets to be less and less. I can still sit on my porch and soak in the sunset, or watch my flowers grow and bloom with wonder and joy!

Since it's all a matter of perspective, isn't life awfully good?