The Big 4-0

I am on the cusp of my 40th birthday. 

Sidebar: According to my dad, my birthday should really be celebrated on the 4th of September (when I'm in the U.S.) since I was born on Sept. 5 across the International Date Line in Indonesia. He's a silly. ;-)

So, I'm on the cusp of my 40th birthday. I feel much calmer, much less stress than I thought I would. I spent a lovely day with friends who lavi

shed me with love (and cake!). Tonight I had a great conversation about learning, about peace, about God's role in our lives, and how we can learn even while suffering, even through suffering. I was reminded of some amazing things God has done and ways he's taught me with such love and compassion. I got to see my dad, sister, and 2 nephews running and playing. I tried on a couple of new items of clothing, and bought a pair of pants that fit perfectly...AND were on sale!!

And the pep talk I've been giving myself about 40 just being another part of life, about God being in charge of my days and years, about not begrudging turning 40 seems to have taken hold in my own heart and taken away the stress of this usually negative milestone. Ok, so I don't have any kids... (yet ?). Ok, so I haven't yet been published. So I haven't done some of the things I hoped I would by 40. 

Big deal. 

Is God in charge or isn't he? Do I trust him or not? 

The answers to those questions are, "He is," and, "I do."

Full stop. 

I can trust him with all my days and years, with all my accomplishments. I will choose to praise him for each day he's given me. I will pay attention to the lessons he's taught me in the past and try to hold on to them for the future. I will look at this as the beginning of the second half of my life, rather than the beginning of the end. The end? What does that even mean? I am an eternal being, living an eternal life that has already begun. I will live each day to the fullest, love the best I can, serve the best I can. Tomorrow, my 40th birthday, is the beginning of what could be the best time of my life. 

I go to bed full of happiness, joy, confidence, love and peace in my life, my family, friends, and most of all, my God.