Deeper than I thought

I say, "God is good," all the time. And I mean it! I make a point to say it not only when things are going well, but when things are tough. 

I had a migraine yesterday, and sitting in church, I realized something about the goodness of God.  I hope I can put it into words.

A whole lot of us agree that God is good when we've just gotten a raise, when we're healthy, when we aced that test. And a good number of us agree that God is good even when we have the flu, when our pay is cut, when our best friend moves.

 

The past ten years or so have been a season of migraines for me. I think I'm coming out of that, and it is a relief. But what I realized yesterday is this: I hold on to, rely on, believe in the goodness of God not just because he has watched over me and taken care of me, asserted his love to me through all those headaches and made his presence known the most when I was in the most pain, but because I could rely on him to be there. He never failed me. He never left me alone in my dark room, suffering without comfort. It isn't that God carried me through the toughest times after my mom's death - it is that he was there every moment, available not only when I cried out but even when I tried walking on my own. He never left me; he never will. He is bigger than a 10-year spate of headaches. He is bigger than the death of a parent. He is bigger than the loss of a dream job. 

When I told my pastor I was having fewer headaches, he said, "God is good." I replied, "Even when I'm having  a headache, God is good." Kurt smiled and nodded in agreement. But my realization yesterday was that God isn't good simply because he does all those things, and loves me in such a way; God is good because I can reliably expect those things! His goodness is bigger than me. And the reason I can continue to assert that "God is good" is because I know it as an absolute truth. Ten years of migraines. Three years of my mom's illness, then her death. Seven years of graduate school. Four years of Tim's illness. Every move from one continent to the next, one state to the next. Every loss of a friend. Every disappointment. 

I can rely on Him to carry me through all my hard times, and rejoice with me in the good. 

He is reliable. He won't fail. He is worth the investment. 

I say, "God is good," because his goodness surpasses my understanding. It is a simple phrase that for me embodies the character of God and the nature of his enduring love toward us. 

God is good.