Twin bed

A twin bed can hold 3 dogs. Well, 3 dogs if there is a person who insists on being in the bed; otherwise 4. Ok, if that person wants to sleep, then either 1 very small dog or no dog at all. Dogs don't know this, though. They think that if they can get comfortable (i.e., make themselves as small as possible in order to squeeze into any remaining available space), then anyone can get comfortable. What makes a dog want to get off a bed is 1) if they can't stretch out, put their paws directly on your face, or constantly lick their rear ends (or paws, or ears, or stomachs) while everyone tries to settle down or 2) if the human insists on keeping their spine in any kind of alignment. Very irritating to a dog.

A dog will be sure to stay on any bed if there is a lot of dog-farting and subsequent complaining by the human, any kind of petting or loving going on, or a square foot of empty space.

I LOVE being in a house with 4 dogs. Don't read the former sentence with any sarcasm, irony or a joking tone of voice. Now, go back and read that first sentence in the warmest, most sincere voice you can. That's how much I mean that.

I live with, perhaps, the most wonderful man in America. His only real flaw (other than his tools often ending up on my beautiful maple coffee table) is that he considers dogs livestock as opposed to members of the family and, therefore, doesn't want one living in our house.

All I have to say? Prenup. Yep, should have gotten a prenup.

And being in this lovely, dog-filled, run frantically to the front door every time a car arrives, run to the back door in a giant pack just to go out and pee, fight for a spot on the couch, have a 72 lb. 1/2 Lab, 1/2 Pit Bull wonder of flying fur and baby face pretend to be a lap dog house only makes me more sure.

I love dogs.