Chocolate Pie

I was standing in the kitchen making a chocolate pie for my hubby (a deep, dark chocolate pie, made with bittersweet chocolate and with a sky-high meringue - where is my camera when I really need it!!) when one of the most beautiful songs in my "Quiet" mix began. It is lovely, romantic, sad. Slow and sweet. Beautiful. Everything one wants in a love song.

And it brought tears to my eyes.

Not because I haven't gotten flowers yet this Valentine's Day. Not because I don't feel loved enough. Not for any of those reasons. But because of a realization that hits me now and then...

...this love Tim and I share, this wonderful, deep, ever-growing, falling in love again and again love that we share - it is not going to result in beautiful children with my dark brown hair and his gray-green eyes, his strength of mind and my passionate spirit. We won't look across the room and see ourselves reflected in little faces . We're just going to be "us two".

Now that we're living in this reality, now that we've said it out loud, now that I'm trying to feel, grieve, heal, work through it - it feels so very real.

Valentine's Day is, indeed, about love. And I do love Tim so very much. But there's a sadness there, too.

I guess it's the very definition of bittersweet...