Morning thoughs

I'm up early this morning, fooling around on Tim's laptop while I keep warm under the covers. Egg is snuggling next to me, wishing I would stop typing and go back to sleep! The sun has made it's way past the horizon, gradually lightening the sky, and another day is upon us. The early morning flow of traffic has just begun, and soon I'll see families walking their kids to the nearby school. A cup of hot tea might soon be calling my name, and I'll stay warm with slippers and a sweater instead of these blankets. :)

I haven't written much lately. Not sure why. Nothing unusual going on, perhaps, and my hours are full. Working occasionally at the library, still editing for the engineering journal, cooking, doing laundry, hanging with friends - the usual stuff. A housewife's life. Tim was gone all last week on a business trip, and I loved my quiet days at home. I got lots of housework done, and finally took down all the Christmas decorations. Whew!

I've been thinking a lot about Dad these days, and am continuing to work through the reality of being an adult orphan. I think it doesn't matter how old you are when you lose your parents - knowing you are now without them has an impact on your psyche. Of course, I don't need much "parenting" these days, but I sure do miss Mom and Dad. I miss their wisdom. I miss Dad's laugh and the great conversations we had over breakfast. I miss what great cheerleaders Mom and Dad were and how they always encouraged me - in so many ways! Dad was my greatest cheerleader over the last 5 or 6 years, and I especially miss that. It is hard to suddenly not have someone consistently saying, "Great job! I love what I see in your life!" I'm having to be my own cheerleader, and it just isn't quite the same.

So just a little shade of blue to the start of this year. I have some friends who are really hurting. Tough stuff going on in their lives. Really tough stuff, and I am very thankful that our most difficult times have not overlapped. They were there for me in my darkest hours, and I hope I can give them the same kind of support. It seems that we have so much choice in our lives - how we handle the challenges that come our way. Will we choose to stay in the valleys, in the darkness, or will we find a way out, becoming stronger because of the struggle? If we choose the latter, if we choose to fight and grow, perhaps we can then be the strong shoulder for someone to lean on when they need it. I hope this is true for me.

Anyway, there's my musing for this morning. As my neighborhood awakens, as Tim begins to stir, as I think about my day and what I need to do - I am thankful for so much. Within the ups and downs of life, I feel a growing sense of comfort with who I am and where I can be of use. And that's a good thing.