Just thoughts

The past week has just flown by!

I went on several lovely hikes with fun friends.

Tim and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary by spending a day wandering around in the mountains, hiking, exploring...and changing a tire in the middle of nowhere! :-)

I worked a couple shifts at the library - always fun to catch-up with old co-workers.

But I also felt this building awareness of the passing of anniversaries - Dad coming home, Dad going into the hospital, Dad's diagnosis....

Last night I sat down and read a bunch of my blogs from last summer. I started the summer much like I started this one - planning to hike and garden, walk with a friend every week, shop at the farmers' markets. And then things just disintegrated.

Last night I once again felt my losses and remembered the weight of everything that happened - starting in May with Tim's bike accident and shoulder injury, all the way to the recovery from my surgery in the fall.

I am trying to not feel panicked about this summer. I am trying to not feel like I have to squeeze in everything I possibly can before the summer disappears into difficulty. I am trying to just live day by day, in peace, not expecting bad things to happen.

And tomorrow is Father's Day. Now I have two days a year that I'll want to hide from the world.

I miss Dad.

I know I'll be all right, and I'm certainly not feeling this way all the time, but for today and tomorrow - yuck.