Morning has broken

So it's Thanksgiving morning...well, maybe not officially, but we're celebrating with my family today and Tim's family tomorrow. I'm up early to make 3 pies, mushroom and leek dressing, a relish tray, and then get everything ready to go, including ingredients for making last minute gravy at my dad's house.

I'm in the midst of my usual internal conflict that comes along every holiday season - time with family vs. time involving Tim, me and friends. The friend quotient is what we got used to when we lived in Arkansas and Missouri for all those years, and that's something we really miss. But we know how much our families love us and value time with us - and we're working on valuing that, too.

Ah, the conflicts that we live with every day. The battle between the giving and the selfish that wages within ourselves. The grieving of lost expectations, the rejoicing in new joys. Isn't life such a dichotomy? Don't we live within nearly dual worlds?

Today I am thankful for all the love in my life. The friends who say to me, "You can do it," in a calm and reassuring voice. The family who stands by me when I have tough decisions to make. The love of God that surrounds me always, palpable, felt in my every day and every night.

So here's to pumpkin pie, turkey and dressing, and all that means. Here's to pilgrims and Indians and the coming together of two worlds. Here's to the good and the bad in life, that come together usually all in one day, and just the plain old experience of life as we walk down our own roads.

The week

So Thanksgiving is this week. Crazy times, these holidays. I'm continuing to work at carving out quiet time for myself, but haven't done very well the past few weeks. The next 2 look more promising!

I know it's a cliche, but I thought I'd just jot down a few things for which I'm thankful...

my wonderful husband, who loves me unconditionally and always sees the best in me

my little kittie Egg - soft and warm!

the beautiful flowers that grew in my garden this summer

fellowship with friends

pretty twinkle lights showing up on houses

a church where I learn, grow, am stimulated, challenged and reminded of the goodness of God

amazing nieces and nephews who bring me such joy

May you all have a Thanksgiving filled with love and fun. Good food, too!

Ah, summer

Already missing those garden-fresh vegetables, especially the lovely, truly vine-ripened tomatoes you can only get in the summer? Well, try this on for size to warm up your long winter evenings...

Buy some of those tomatoes the grocery store has now - cherry, regular size - doesn't matter much.

Cut out the stem end, slice them crosswise about 1/2" thick, and gently ease out as much of the moisture in the pockets as you can.

Make a slurry of finely shredded Parmesan cheese, minced garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper and one of the following: thyme, oregano, marjoram or parsley (dried or fresh).

Lightly grease a large baking pan. Place the tomato slices in the pan, then drizzle the slurry over the tomatoes. Roast them for 2 hours or so in a 300' oven. They will turn out with the most wonderful tomato-y, herby, summery flavor. Serve them as they are (or gently smash them into a sauce) and serve them with pasta, roasted chicken, a great steak or anything else.

Easy and super yummy.

Trust me!

Two thoughts (kinda big ones for my life!)

Ok, I know I've been writing so seldom that those of you in the habit of checking my blog might be giving up. I hope you don't. I'll do better - not that what I write amuses you in any great way, but I guess it must at least somewhat or you wouldn't keep up with me! ;-)

Anywho, here's at least one reason I've not been writing. I've had a significant change in my physical state: the migraines under which I've suffered for years seem to be diminishing at a remarkable rate. I'm getting only three or four a month, and that is amazing and life changing! I didn't remember what it felt like to have the kind of energy and time I'm experiencing! I can do pretty much whatever I want...and therein lies my neglect of this blog (and several other things - like quiet time to myself). I'm saying "yes" to practically everything that comes my way, and every day is filled with craziness, going here and there. For the first time in years I am able to say "yes" to so much stuff, even to take the initiative on things and follow-through.

I'm having fun, but I've realized something. I don't know how to say "no", I don't know how to control my own life and schedule. For so long, the crazy migraines did that for me, and I don't know how to do it myself. The headaches managed my time by making me unable to do stuff, to follow-through, to take initiative. I so often had to cancel, change plans, not attend something, and now that seems to be changing.

What this means, though, is that I somehow have to figure this out for myself, not be quite so busy. I'm working on it, and excited about the open possibilities of a schedule not hampered by pain!

My second thought for today is this: Yesterday a friend shared with me a momentous event in one of her relationships. Someone from whom she realistically never expected an apology for years of hurt and painful treatment did apologize, and expressed a desire to "build bridges".

I was left speechless.

What an amazing lesson to me - don't give up! I was reminded of what St. Paul wrote in the New Testament about love. He said: "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Love never gives up.

Do I live my life this way? Do I have this kind of faith and hope about the tough relationships in my life? My friend's story is such a shining beacon to me of not giving up, of lovingly speaking truth into even the most difficult of relationships, yes - for the principal of it, but also as a continuing foundation of love and the hope that someday things might turn around. And instead of avoiding and running away, leaving a stepping stone pocketed with untruths and unfaithfulness, you'll have a foundation of love and truth on which to rebuild.

Thanks, friend, for sharing. Thanks for having faith and endurance. And thanks for always spurring me on to live a better life.

Life's deep questions

Get ready for a really deep entry...

No, seriously...

Ok, not seriously, but here it is anyway! ;-)

Once again it is time to trim my hair, my pretty straight with not a ton of body hair. I've been growing it out, but only because I got tired of having to maintain an actual style. I did have this cute, flippy thing that I enjoyed for a couple of years. It sure was a heck of a lot of work, though. I mean, I had to get it trimmed at least every 2 months! Also, the stylist didn't seem to be able to cut it exactly the same every time, which freaked me out. Would I like this iteration or not?! Whew! Wore me out!

Listen, this is how un-style-conscious I am - I keep my bangs ridiculously short because they bug me if they touch my forehead too much, and I don't even want any layers in my now fairly long hair because then when I braid it, the layers' ends stick out of the braid like an unruly bundle of cornstalks.

So I made my way to Supercuts (my go-to place; why spend more than $15 when all they have to be able to do is cut a straight line?) and sat down in the chair. All around me are people with these cute haircuts. They all look so good! I on the other hand look a little silly with these short bangs (but which I actually like, even though they might look a little silly) and my long, straight hair. I question myself: Maybe I should go back to something cute and fun? Maybe I could learn to enjoy actually doing something with my hair? Maybe, maybe...

Nope. Same old thing. Maybe someday I'll do something creative again. Doubt it, but maybe.

And that is the extent of my ruminating for today. To style or not to style... To conform to the pressure to do all I can to look as good as I can, or to just go with the flow of what my personality dictates - easy and ubersimple... Hmmm, that all seems to have made me extremely tired, so I will end with this:

Nap time!

May you all have wonderful weeks, filled with love from family and friends, with sunshine and all the colors of fall, and joy every day of the week!

And just in case you need something to make you laugh out loud, here's what I looked like after 3 days in bed with the flu a couple months ago. Check out that hair!! Giggles to all of you!