Wow!

Uh, yeah, so you've got company coming over for dinner, you want to cook a lovely meal but don't want to have to think about dessert, and you'd rather not buy another pie from the grocery store.

Solution? Use your crock pot!!

I made a truly delicious coconut-raisin bread pudding this last week. It was yummy that night warm out of the crock pot, and was just as good the next day reheated. Here it is. Play with it and make it your own. Don't love raisins? Substitute chocolate chips or a different dried fruit. Try it with 1/2 white and 1/2 whole wheat bread for a chewier texture. Spoon ice cream over the hot bread pudding. Your sister is allergic to coconut? Try another recipe. ;-)

This is taken directly from the New Creative Crock Pot Slow Cooker Cookbook (2001). I doubled all the ingredients since I have a 6 qt. crock pot.

1 c unsweetened coconut milk

1 c milk

1 c evaporated milk

8 c French bread with crust, cut into 1" cubes

4 eggs

1 c sugar

1 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract (I used the insides from 1 whole vanilla bean)

1 c firmly packed sweetened coconut flakes

1 c golden raisins

In a lightly greased crock pot, combine the coconut milk, milk, evaporated milk and French bread pieces. Stir thoroughly to mix. In a mixing bowl, beat the eggs, sugar, salt and vanilla. Add the egg mixture to the bread and milk in the stoneware. Stir in the coconut flakes and raisins. Cover: cook on high 3-5 hours (or until set in the middle). Remove lid and allow to cool until is the temperature you would like. (I prefer it somewhere between room temperature and piping hot.)

As the famous crock pot cookbook says, "Fix it and forget it!" Then enjoy it!

A little sad

I'm missing my mom today. I've got company coming for dinner, and, feeling quite worn out from yesterday's headache, I could sure use her laughter and joy in my kitchen today as I do housework and cook. My sister is bored of being stuck in her house with her kids, and could use Mom's fun spirit to entertain the boys and give her a rest. Any my soul could use her love and prayers as I walk through life.

I wouldn't say I miss her every day, but an awful lot of them. Fewer and fewer as the years pass since her death in 1996. And that in itself is a grief - to not miss her as much as I did. But I love her no less than I did.

I am so thankful for my sisters, and my good friends who love me so much and add so much joy to my lives. Do they know what a balm to my soul they all are?

Thanks, everyone, for your love. It is meaningful in my life.

Tough start

I've gotten quite a bit done in the past 3 weeks - surprising considering how many migraines I've been getting. Good thing I rescheduled my usual Thursday time with a friend for Saturday, because I felt like kaka all day long. Had to cancel 2 other things (I'd packed the day with friend-time). I won't belabor the point, but I am worn out and frustrated. I'd like to be getting a little bit done every day, but days like today I spend back and forth from the couch to the bed. Boring, irritating...and painful.

If you're so inclined, I could use your prayers. I know this is a temporary state, I know it is so much less than so many have to endure. I haven't lost sight of that. The best comfort is the sure knowledge of God's love and provision for me. I'm still tired, though, and discouraged. 'Nuf said.

Next week will be better - I'm sure!?

Little by little

So I'll start the new year (is it too late to use that phrase) rejoicing in small victories.

I reorganized my kitchen yesterday and today and managed to put everything that was sitting on the counter away. That feels like quite an accomplishment, and I even have extra room on a couple of shelves. Amazing!!

I've thought through some additional time commitments, already crossed a thing or two off my year's to-do list, and am overall feeling pretty darn positive about things. Leave a comment about what you've been doing. I'd love to hear!

Busy days

Well, I'd determined I was going to write more consistently this year, but so far that hasn't happened. Oh well. The days are flying by - that's for sure! I'm getting lots done though - keeping up with my house better, spending time with friends and family, working on little projects, earning a very small paycheck.

It all feels good - being just a little more organized than I was the last few months of last year, which felt like chaos! It seems like I have a clearer picture of what this year will look like. Not exactly sure why, but it feels good - to be able to plan things a little more and be more sure of what the coming weeks hold.

At the beginning of this week I wrote down what I'd like to accomplish - separated into things to be done inside and outside the house (e.g., all my errands in one list). I've got kind of a long list, but several blank days in which to accomplish it. It's nice to know what I've chosen to focus on, so each morning I can pick up the list and work my way through it.

This morning I've already done 3 things!

Now it's time to get on with my day. I'm going to try to figure out where to put all the baking stuff I have leftover from the holidays. It's more than I will use anytime soon, although I am having company a couple times this month. I guess they'll get dessert!

Old questions

My interest in the Kosovar/Bosnian conflicts has recently been reignited. I was sadly ignorant of these conflicts when they were going on, but that is being remedied. Never too late to learn? I hope not.

It is fascinating, frightening, disturbing what happened there. Men and women destroying each other's lives because of lies told to them, because of 800 year old conflicts, because of social and political debts never repaid.

This has all renewed in my mind the questions surrounding the issue addressed by Edward Burke in Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents (1770):

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall

one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle."

This has often been restated as:

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

So how do we, as individuals, as "good men" have an effect on genocide, on murder among countrymen when our governments will do nothing? As the conflicts in Bosnia and Kosovo were happening, we (the U.S.) and much of the rest of the world, including the U.N., did virtually nothing. We sat back and waited to see what would happen. Despite all the world's pledges at the end of World War II - that a genocide of this kind would never happen again - it did happen. It was happening and nothing was being done by the world community to stop it.

Darfur, Rwanda, Zimbabwe, Indonesia. Ethnic "cleansing" has consistenly occurred since World War II. When should other countries step in and stop it? "It isn't our business," some people say, but often these are the same people who scream and stamp their feet at injustice and cruelty. It seems to me you can't ask for both things - both keeping America's nose out of another country's business and desiring that cruelty and murder cease, because, in truth, there are bad men who will not stop because the world wants them to, asks them to, or sanctions them. Sometimes they will only stop if they are made to do so. Force.

Yuck. It seems a rather negative way to view the world, but I think it is in some cases the truth.

So the question remains: how am I as an individual to make a difference?

I don't know. I don't have a good answer. I think, though, it might start by being educated about the world around me, by at least trying to understand the things that have happened and are happening.

And I think we should remember the things that good men have said. They can gird us up for the good fight. In June of 1963, President Kennedy said:

...What kind of peace do I mean? Not a Pax Americana enforced

on the world by American weapons of war. Not the peace of the

grave or the security of the slave. I am talking about genuine peace,

the kind of peace that makes life on earth worth living, the kind that

enables men and nations to grow and to hope and to build a better

life for their children - not merely for Americans, but peace for

all men and women - not merely peace in our time but

peace for all time.

For in the final analysis, our most basic, common link is that we all

inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air.

We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal.

So may we all read, listen and learn. May we all be willing to say "no" when bad men arise and threaten not only us, but others - even those far away. May we never simply say, "It's not my problem." How do we do this? I still don't know, but I'll keep looking for an answer.

My bro

My brother spends lots of his time in a wheelchair.

He was born with a very rare neurological defect that affects the myelin lining on his nerves. His fingers struggle to grasp and hold; his eyes sometimes won't sit still, making it dfficult to read; his balance is terrible. Long story short, his body just doesn't work as well as yours or mine.

But he has always found a way to do what he wants. When he was in elementary school and all his buddies were playing football, he was always the ball holder for kick-offs and punts. In high school when he wanted to ride bikes with Tim and me, he saved his money and bought a 3-wheeled recumbent bicycle. His junior year of high school, he won an award in a drafting class and discovered a love for design and architecture. He's making that work at college.

But let's face reality. There's lots Matt can't do. We can't hike together. It's harder to do a family picnic. When we go to a baseball game, although it isn't necessary for us to sit in the "handicapped" seating, we at least take into consideration where our seats are - not too many steps, close to the aisle. He can't run, walk across a room without crutches, jump in and out of the car to run errands. His life is very different, and filled with unique and frustrating challenges.

I adore Matt. We have tons of fun together, although I don't get to see him all that much - he's in his junior year of university. He was home for the Christmas holidays this past week and we went to see Avatar. Have you seen this movie? I thought it was great! I didn't know much about it, but I knew I wanted to see it. I do love James Cameron's movies, with the exception of Titanic - ironically, his greatest hit. (I admit Titanic had great effects, beautiful music, and wonderful acting. Just hated the love story. First of all, was there truly only room on that door for one person? And really - you live your whole life, have a family, children, grandchildren, but at the end of your life the man you meet in eternity is the fellow you had a 3 day affair with on a ship? Wait, I'll stop myself there. Whew! That was a close one!) Back to today's plot... Aliens, Terminator II, The Abyss - I loved all of those! Own all of those, actually. So we chose this movie, expecting it to be good, and both Matt and I wanted to see it.

Lights go down. We watch the previews (love previews - don't you? I think every movie looks amazing in the previews!) Movie starts.

The hero is in a wheelchair.

Wait. Did you know this? Did I miss something in the previews? (Warning: spoiler alert) So the hero is paralyzed from the waist down. He goes to this alien planet and participates in a science project in which a hybrid human/alien body is grown. While lying in an MRI-like machine, the human is able to "occupy" the hybrid body, and most of the movie takes place in the alien world, with this hybrid body occupied by our hero. Of course, his hybrid body is not only fully functional, but amazing - strong, lithe, athletic.

And at the end of the movie, his old, broken body is left behind and his occupation of the hybrid body becomes reality. He stays in that perfect body.

So I'm sitting there with Matt, who is actually sitting in his wheelchair because the theatre is sold out, watching this movie.

This movie about a guy in a wheelchair who gets a new body.

Cried all the way home.