Deeper than I thought

I say, "God is good," all the time. And I mean it! I make a point to say it not only when things are going well, but when things are tough. 

I had a migraine yesterday, and sitting in church, I realized something about the goodness of God.  I hope I can put it into words.

A whole lot of us agree that God is good when we've just gotten a raise, when we're healthy, when we aced that test. And a good number of us agree that God is good even when we have the flu, when our pay is cut, when our best friend moves.

 

The past ten years or so have been a season of migraines for me. I think I'm coming out of that, and it is a relief. But what I realized yesterday is this: I hold on to, rely on, believe in the goodness of God not just because he has watched over me and taken care of me, asserted his love to me through all those headaches and made his presence known the most when I was in the most pain, but because I could rely on him to be there. He never failed me. He never left me alone in my dark room, suffering without comfort. It isn't that God carried me through the toughest times after my mom's death - it is that he was there every moment, available not only when I cried out but even when I tried walking on my own. He never left me; he never will. He is bigger than a 10-year spate of headaches. He is bigger than the death of a parent. He is bigger than the loss of a dream job. 

When I told my pastor I was having fewer headaches, he said, "God is good." I replied, "Even when I'm having  a headache, God is good." Kurt smiled and nodded in agreement. But my realization yesterday was that God isn't good simply because he does all those things, and loves me in such a way; God is good because I can reliably expect those things! His goodness is bigger than me. And the reason I can continue to assert that "God is good" is because I know it as an absolute truth. Ten years of migraines. Three years of my mom's illness, then her death. Seven years of graduate school. Four years of Tim's illness. Every move from one continent to the next, one state to the next. Every loss of a friend. Every disappointment. 

I can rely on Him to carry me through all my hard times, and rejoice with me in the good. 

He is reliable. He won't fail. He is worth the investment. 

I say, "God is good," because his goodness surpasses my understanding. It is a simple phrase that for me embodies the character of God and the nature of his enduring love toward us. 

God is good. 

Endless summer

My husband had the most wonderful grandmother in the world. 

She was like one of those grandmother's from a fairy story - kind, gentle, patient, indulging, yet a truth-speaker, and she loved me like one of her own. She was an incredible gift to me in the short time I knew her. Sadly, she died much earlier in our relationship than I would have liked. I truly loved her.

Gramy (as we called her) had quite an influence in my life, especially when I was a young bride - spending time with her, watching how she showed love to the men in her life, the stories I heard told about her - especially about her cooking. Over the years she won many blue ribbons at the Washington County fair for her pies, pickles and jams, setting a high bar to which I've always aimed. Tim and the rest of the family would rave about Gramy's creations, and one of the highest compliments Tim has ever given me is telling people that I have perfected his grandmother's pecan pie. 

I adore my husband, and if I can please him by recreating (in at least a small way) those wonderful memories from his childhood of his grandmother's pies and jam, I will try to do that. 

I think making jam and preserving fruit is a wonderful thing. I love the whole process, from choosing the fruit, to making it, to seeing it in those pretty jars, and then enjoying it all year long. It is as if you are putting summer itself into syrup and saving it for a cold winter day. 

Last week I went to the farmers' market and bought a box of peaches. They smelled wonderful as they finished ripening on my counter. 

Yesterday I blanched and peeled the ripest of those lovely peaches.

Next I sliced them off their stones...

...leaving a colorful and satisfying mess of skins and stones.

I chopped about half of them for jam, and mixed the chopped bits with with pectin and sugar, bringing them to a boil on the stove (no picture - hands sticky and messy!). That process not only makes the jam sweeten and set, it deepens the color and prepares the jam to look beautiful in the jars. While the jam was cooking, I made a simple syrup to pour over the sliced peaches for preserves.

I ladled all this into jars. 

The leftovers look sticky, huh? 

And this is my fancy scoop. :-D

And then the water bath, which takes a little longer up here at 6,000 ft.

The finished result? Ah, lovely! 

Wonderful peach jam and preserves to last me all winter.

Not the movie

So I made the most delicious meal this week - ratatouille! Never made it before and, boy howdy, was it easy and tasty. Here's the directions. (Thanks to cooks.com which gave me the start for the recipe.)

1 very large onion, chopped

1 small green bell pepper, chopped

1 small red bell pepper, chopped

1 medium eggplant, skinned and chopped

1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes (I used the fire-roasted)

2 garlic cloves, minced

salt and pepper to taste

2 bay leaves

pinch of nutmeg

1/2 c. red wine

2 Tbsp ketchup

Saute the onions in a generous amount of oil. Add all the other ingredients. Cook on low heat (barely simmering), with the lid on, for a couple of hours, stirring every so often. Add the ketchup the last hour. If your dish tastes bitter after about an hour, add a tsp of salt. Taste it 15 minutes later. If it is still bitter, add another 1/2 tsp. Does the trick. 

When the vegetables are whatever texture you desire (level of doneness), take the lid off and cook off as much liquid as you want. 

Serve over any starch you want - mashed or roasted potatoes, corn or potato pancakes, pasta, rice, couscous, toast, etc. I made fresh corn pancakes from the last of the corn from my garden. The sweetness of the corn seemed to marry very well with the acidity of the ratatouille.

Yummy!!

Dragging

I must be tired! Can it be from the retreat? I did, after all, stay up 2 or 3 hours past my usual bedtime. I was just having so much fun! But this week? I'm dragging. Can't seem to get much accomplished other than cooking dinner. I did write some lists of things I need to do, but didn't really get to them. Well, today's another day, and at least I'm up early. I think I'll have some breakfast and get to it!

I did accomplish one important thing this week - I had a wonderful talk with one of my very best friends yesterday. That made me quite happy! It was so good to hear her voice, just chat like we always have. How I miss her!!

Today might be peach jam day. I have a lovely box of peaches waiting for me - I'll slice some up and freeze them, make some preserves, and some jam. Not much else going on today except waiting for the cable guy to come fix a problem, so I might as well. Easy and delicious!

Happy weekend, everyone!

Weekend Away

Oh, dear, has it really been over a week since I wrote? Well, so much has happened!

Not really. (Sarcasm button engaged...)

I did spend a good bit of time last week helping plan a wonderful retreat for the women in our church. This weekend we went to Westcliffe, CO - 15 ladies came and considering the size of our church, that's a great turnout! We had tons of fun, good quality time, motivating Bible study, and yummy food. Doesn't get much better than that!! Most of us didn't even have to share beds, an added bonus. 

I'm glad to be home with a not-very-busy week ahead of me. I plan to see my nephews, go grocery shopping, take care of some bills, and hang out at home. Sounds delightful to me! I should also finish up some gardening tasks - transplanting a few things, etc. And I might can some jam and applesauce.

So, this hasn't been the most entertaining of posts, but there you are. I'll try to drum up some creativity for tomorrow. ;-)

The Big 4-0

I am on the cusp of my 40th birthday. 

Sidebar: According to my dad, my birthday should really be celebrated on the 4th of September (when I'm in the U.S.) since I was born on Sept. 5 across the International Date Line in Indonesia. He's a silly. ;-)

So, I'm on the cusp of my 40th birthday. I feel much calmer, much less stress than I thought I would. I spent a lovely day with friends who lavi

shed me with love (and cake!). Tonight I had a great conversation about learning, about peace, about God's role in our lives, and how we can learn even while suffering, even through suffering. I was reminded of some amazing things God has done and ways he's taught me with such love and compassion. I got to see my dad, sister, and 2 nephews running and playing. I tried on a couple of new items of clothing, and bought a pair of pants that fit perfectly...AND were on sale!!

And the pep talk I've been giving myself about 40 just being another part of life, about God being in charge of my days and years, about not begrudging turning 40 seems to have taken hold in my own heart and taken away the stress of this usually negative milestone. Ok, so I don't have any kids... (yet ?). Ok, so I haven't yet been published. So I haven't done some of the things I hoped I would by 40. 

Big deal. 

Is God in charge or isn't he? Do I trust him or not? 

The answers to those questions are, "He is," and, "I do."

Full stop. 

I can trust him with all my days and years, with all my accomplishments. I will choose to praise him for each day he's given me. I will pay attention to the lessons he's taught me in the past and try to hold on to them for the future. I will look at this as the beginning of the second half of my life, rather than the beginning of the end. The end? What does that even mean? I am an eternal being, living an eternal life that has already begun. I will live each day to the fullest, love the best I can, serve the best I can. Tomorrow, my 40th birthday, is the beginning of what could be the best time of my life. 

I go to bed full of happiness, joy, confidence, love and peace in my life, my family, friends, and most of all, my God.