Knowledge

Well, now I know. I'll have surgery next Monday. They hope to do it laparoscopically, but it might have to be open abdomen if they get in there and can't quite manage with those tiny instruments.

I'm not really nervous. In fact, I'm relieved to know when we'll be doing this damn thing.

I woke up this morning with a song from church in my head, a song about Jesus...

And I, I'm desperate for you...
And I, I'm lost without you...

I opened my Bible, hoping God would give me a nudge to know where to read. Hebrews.

But what passage?

Hebrews 11. The faith chapter.

Kind of a cliche, I thought, to read about faith right before seeing the surgeon, but that's where I started.

And it was exactly what I needed. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham - all men of faith who kept their eyes on God.

Hebrews 11:13 says, "These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar..."

One more reminder to keep my eyes on Jesus and his plan for my life. I'm sure trying. This has been a challenging summer, a challenging three months. But God keeps calling out to my heart, drawing me back to him. When I get too anxious, when sadness or fear seems to overtake me, when I am frustrated beyond what is reasonable - he calls out to me, reminding me of his love, and that he's keeping me in his hands.